Author: Leah Mtegha
Spiritual abuse can happen to anyone. As someone who has endured spiritual narcissistic abuse, I can say with certainty that no one enters these situations expecting it to happen to them.
Most of us are simply seeking God. We want to grow spiritually, connect deeply, and belong to a community of believers. In that sincere desire, we sometimes encounter people who do not have good intentions. Instead of shepherding, they exploit. Instead of protecting, they control.
The Role of Idolatry
One of the key reasons spiritual narcissistic abuse happens is idolatry. Sometimes we idolize people instead of God. We elevate pastors, bishops, churches, leaders, or spiritual mentors above God Himself.
Scripture reminds us:Exodus 20:3 (KJV) – “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”
When we elevate people above God, even unknowingly, we step into idolatry. Often we believe we are seeking God, but in reality, we are following people more than Him.
The Importance of the Word of God
Over the years, I have learned this truth: when you are not spending time in the Word of God, not listening to God, and not cultivating a personal relationship with Him, other voices will become louder than His.
Joshua 1:8 (KJV) – “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night…”
Psalm 119:105 (KJV) – “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
Psalm 119:11 (KJV) – “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.”
When the Word is absent, deception becomes easier.
How Narcissistic Spiritual Abuse Works
Spiritual narcissists study their victims. They observe strengths, weaknesses, desires, and wounds. Like a snake hidden in the grass, they wait patiently before striking.
1 Peter 5:8 (KJV) – “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.”
They begin with love-bombing—Bible studies, worship nights, prayer gatherings—things they know you love. Once attachment forms, isolation begins.
Isolation and Devaluation
After isolation comes devaluation. This may include criticism disguised as correction, pressure to give more, demands for loyalty, or control over your time and choices.
Proverbs 29:25 (KJV) – “The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.”
When you question what feels wrong, gaslighting begins. Scripture is twisted to silence discernment.
Confusion Is Not from God
You may begin losing sleep, feeling drained, confused, and anxious. But Scripture is clear:
1 Corinthians 14:33 (KJV) – “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace…”
Confusion is a sign that something is spiritually wrong.
Awakening and Escape
By God’s grace, He opens your eyes. When that happens, obedience means leaving.
2 Corinthians 6:17 (KJV) – “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord…”
Spiritual abuse opens doors to demonic influence through idolatry. Control, manipulation, and pride are often associated with spirits such as Jezebel and Leviathan.
Healing and Restoration
Healing begins when you pull away and return fully to God—through prayer, fasting, worship, and the Word.
Psalm 147:3 (KJV) – “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”
Ask God to heal people-pleasing, fear of man, compromise, and brokenness. Do not rush into another spiritual environment. Sit with God. Listen.
Proverbs 3:5–6 (KJV) – “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding…”
Forgiveness Without Reconciliation
Forgiveness is necessary for your freedom, but reconciliation is not required.
Romans 12:19 (KJV) – “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”
Release them to God. Protect your peace.
Final Encouragement
God restores what spiritual abuse tries to destroy—your identity, your faith, and your relationship with Him.
John 8:36 (KJV) – “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”
